“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.'”
Jeremiah 29:11
I’ll be honest. Coming out of high school, this wasn’t something that I truly believed in. It was a verse that I could recite word for word, but the words didn’t actually mean anything to me.
A running-slump and a life-slump my senior year left me confused and hopeless about my future in the sport and college in general. I had given everything I had to running and felt like I received nothing in return for my dedication. And how many of us have been in that position? You do everything “right,” but you end up feeling empty and stuck when everything is said and done. The thing that was supposed to bring you the most fulfillment just didn’t. So what do you do when your back is up against the wall and you feel like you have nowhere left to go? You ache. You cry. You get angry. You hurt in places that you didn’t know could hurt.
Because how could God ask for more when you were already giving everything that you had?
I graduated from high school last spring not knowing whether or not I believed in God, and wondering if deciding to run in college was truly the best decision for me. I lost my love for the one thing that had always been my escape, and I lost my love for life. I put my worth in the sport and it left me completely broken. What was the point?
In August, I moved nearly 700 miles from home in an attempt to completely rebuild and restart my life. Quite literally and figuratively, I ran away from the problems and identity that I had made for myself in my small Ohio hometown. I was scared — terrified, actually.
What if I’m not cut out for Division I running? What if moving this far away isn’t the fix to my problems? What if I fall into the same slump again?
But there I was, sitting in a dorm room in a different part of the country with five other girls who I barely knew. Scared. Doubtful. Absolutely terrified. With nowhere to run except straight towards this new life.
Now, a year later, I can honestly say that I will forever be grateful that God took me to the city of Birmingham. I’m not going to go through the entirety of my freshman year of college because there are no words that could ever do justice to the people I met, the places I was able to visit, and the blessings I received along the way. But I will say this:
No matter how ugly things are, know that you are not walking alone — and know that there are NO limits on God’s plan for you. There will be times when life is going so great that you don’t think it could possibly get any better — and then it does. There will also be times when you you think that there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to recover or rebuild — and then you will. Trust in this and more importantly, trust in Him. God does not ask for you to have all of the answers and to know how to fix every problem that you encounter. He does not ask for perfection. He only asks that you are willing to move your feet as He guides you. And realize this: those days where you feel like you move one step forward only to move ten steps back will become an important part of your story, of God’s plan for you.
Maybe you’re at the point where you don’t know if you believe in God. Maybe you can confidently say that you have a strong relationship with God. Maybe your life is just one big “I don’t know” right now. Wherever you are in your journey, trust that His plan is far greater than anything you could ever imagine for yourself. So often I have found myself saying “I’m too broken for this” or “My mistakes are too great.” We change as human beings, but hear me out: God does not change. No mistake or slip-up will ever be great enough to change His love for you. God can transform those broken pieces if you place them in his hands. He does not promise that it will be easy, or comfortable, or pain-free. But remember this:
“There is a promise to win, but you have to fight.”
The fight is worth it. I promise you that.
I don’t know what God has in store for me. I don’t know what tomorrow brings or where my feet will take me next. But I will keep running into the unknown, into things and places that are difficult & uncomfortable, if it means that I am even half a step closer to Him.
And I hope that you find the strength to do the same.
Jenna Genevieve 